by Rick Traub

Once I was visiting a friend who lived and worked in Camphill Village, an agricultural community in Pennsylvania where mentally handicapped adults (villagers) have the opportunity to create productive and fulfilling lives for themselves by integrating into the daily routine of a working dairy farm. We were in the barn when a villager walked up to my friend and made a request. He then looked my friend in the eye and said with great feeling, “Please say yes. It is my favorite word!”

At that moment, I felt the power of yes, and it became one of my favorite words too. Of course, the villager was granted his request. He had created a space of total certainty in which yes was the only option.

Fifteen years later, I still feel the power of that yes. I find the feeling especially useful when I encounter a no. A friend or loved one says no, something happens that says no to a project or idea, or in my darkest moments, I say no to myself, “No, I give up...No, I can’t...No, I am not happy to be me.” In these moments, I often move myself out of this space of no by using the Releasing Fixed Attention exercise from ReSurfacing.

Take a moment to run through the exercise yourself. Pick out a frustration in your life and follow the instructions. Keep alternating until you feel a shift in your perspective. Perhaps you’ll see an opportunity behind that frustration, behind that no.

I tell myself that behind every no is a yes and that as I examine the no with increased attention and appreciation, I will begin to experience it from a new perspective. I become less attached to, less identified with my no. It is no longer mine. I am freed from it, and so is my attention, to explore new possibilities.

As there are an infinite number of points in a sphere, there are probably an infinite number of points of view to any question, issue or event. And as something is examined from an increasing number of points of view, a spherical perspective is realized. It is a moment of liberation and transformation.

Rick Traub, Maine

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