Exhausted From Resisting?
by Holly Riley
You know those feelings we have every now and againanger, confusion, upsetor that everything-seems-to-be-out-of-control feeling?
These feelings are a clue that we are resisting somethingresisting an emotion, resisting losing something, resisting saying something, resisting being told something, resisting being like our mothers or fathers, resisting being broke, resisting being sick, resisting being the way we are, resisting...
The amazing thing about resistance is that it is like glue. It sticks us to the thing we are resisting. Have you ever heard the expression, What you resist persists? The surest way to make something hang around is to resist it.
Have you ever noticed how much energy it takes to resist something? How much attention it absorbs? And what do you end up with? How do you think your creative abilities are affected by resisting something?
How much of what we do each day is because we enjoy the experience? How much of what we do is out of resisting the experience of something? Do we work because we resist not having money? Do we exercise because we resist being overweight or unhealthy? Do we stay in a relationship because we resist being alone? Do we not tell the whole truth because we resist peoples knowing how we really feel?
Some of us have spent our whole lives resisting things. We have gotten so good at holding back things that we dont realize how much of our attention and creative energy is locked up in the act. We cant let our guard down for a second for fear of experiencing the thing.
But didnt we decide what to resist in the first place? Could we be resisting things from so far back that we dont even remember deciding? Resisting has become a habit. There is a lot of power locked up in old ideas. How would it feel to get all that energy and aliveness back?
That is what happen to me on The Avatar Course.
I realized that much of who I was, was the result of what I was resisting. For example, resisting being hurt like my mother, or being cruel like I thought my father was, or being poor or sick, or being judgmental. I had so many judgments of what I didnt want to be like that I had no ME left to create what I wanted to be.
My power and ability to create was all locked up in resisting. My attention and consciousness was so busy keeping everything under control that I couldnt direct any of it to creating something new. My life was about resisting.
Since Avatar, I am in awe of how it feels to be in charge of what my attention moves to. To feel what it feels like to be totally present, to be in a real intimate relationship with someone, to see them as they are and love them as that without wanting to change or control them. What a relief for them and for me. I am growing instead of just surviving.
Before Avatar I measured my success by how much I accomplished. Whoever got the most done was the winner in my world. Now, life has a flow to it, not a push or pull, hurt-or-be-hurt life. There is a more allowing, compassionate experience that has room for understanding that all of us are learning about lifeincluding me. My mind is quiet now, and that is no small wonder.
An interesting side effect is that as I stopped resisting things, compassion showed up in my family. Magical. They are more relaxed and comfortable and not nearly as prone to resisting what hasnt gone their way. Everyone around us is affected, and they begin to feel the new possibilities. Avatar is a phenomenal tool for creating a happy family.
I remember hearing Harry Palmer talk about how it requires a lot more energy to create a life out of resisting than it does to create a life out of what you desire. Desire contains the momentum needed to manifest the thing that you want. To create being successful instead of doing things to resist failure, for example.
The exercises on The Avatar Course allowed me to let go of, in a moment, the thing I have spent my whole life pushing against. A moment! After a lifetime of pouring attention into something, you just stop. It is as though the river of energy that has been flowing outward turns around, and you fill up with it.
You feel the power of being present in the moment like never before. You feel a huge wave of excitement. You awaken to a new way of being alivebatteries charged and ready to go. You become the designer of your own life.Holly Riley, Reno, Nevada
return to issue 16.2 | return to Journal archives | top of page
All content copyright 2008, Stars Edge, Inc. EPC is a service mark of Star's Edge, Inc. Avatar®, ReSurfacing®, Thoughtstorm®, Love Precious Humanity®, Enlightened Planetary Civilization® and Stars Edge International® are registered trademarks of Stars Edge, Inc. All rights reserved.