Parts One and Two
by Robert Mosley
Prospective Avatar Takes Stock
As a pre-Avatar candidate just what do I expect to get out of this Course? Why do I want to do it in the first place? I would like to go over this a bit here for at least a couple of reasons: one, to give someone else the benefit of my experience and thoughts, and two, to explore my thinking on this so that I might compare it to the view I have after doing Avatar.
First of all, I am not absolutely sure why I want Avatar. I first heard of it several years ago through a flyer or some other kind of announcement at a metaphysical bookstore I frequented in Fort Walton Beach, Florida. I submitted my name to attend the introductory presentation that the announcement described. I missed the presentation for some reason, but I did start to receive the Avatar Journal, which I’m sure was sent as a result of the interest I had shown. I also ordered a book through the Journal that was available at that time, Creativism.
The thing that communicated itself to me from the beginning was that these people, those writing in the Journal and those described by it, and Harry Palmer in Creativism, were genuinely and sincerely into what they believed was an extraordinary and positive way for individuals to address the way they lived. They apparently had found a way to focus and arrange their thought processes, which had the result of helping them focus and arrange their experiences as well.
Was this, though, I wondered, just another course in positive thinking, and wasn’t it just a little expensive? Still there was something different about Avatar, it seemed, something I really couldn’t put my finger on. It had the effect, as a result, of being in the back of my mind as something that I would want to do someday, and I always appreciated receiving the Journals. These colorful magazines were somehow always uplifting and interesting. I hoped that I would continue to receive them.
About a half a year ago, I took an early retirement from my job with the federal civil service. I had been in this huge bureaucratic environment for over 30 years, and I felt the need for a change, for some different kind of involvement, different stimulation. I had no idea what it was to be, but I was ready to volunteer for the early retirement when the offer was made.
Since retirement I have in no way looked back, but I have felt some frustration in finding productive outlets. I find that I am starting all kinds of projects and finishing few. I have always liked the idea of writing and have done some of that, but I find that I do not have the discipline that I need to have. I have tried to do some reading that I thought I did not have time for before retiring. I checked just recently and was currently reading 34 books. These are books I am interested in and have bookmarks in. They are arranged for ready access and I want to finish them. But I find that I seldom do finish any. I was a more productive reader when I was employed full time. I guess it would be fair to say that I am unfocused. My wife is still employed and I find that I am not as helpful to her as I would like to be and that I should be. The house, I am afraid, often goes unvacuumed and undusted.
A few months ago during a particularly frustrating down time of fits and starts, and after some hopeful meditative beseeching for guidance, I received a letter. It was from Avatar Master Terry Taylor who lives in the same town as I do, Fort Walton Beach. As she said in her letter I didn’t even have to use her 800 number to contact her and get some of the Avatar materials. I got the materials, met Terry, and now here I am writing about planning to take Avatar.
I also took Terry’s advice and bought the books Living Deliberately and ReSurfacing. I read them and did some of the exercises. My inclination afterward was that one’s own self is very dynamic and doesn’t need embellishment, and that this self’s uniqueness is more than adequate to stand alone. I tended toward the idea of what an impressive thing it is for everyone when their own self is turned loose. I also had a tendency to be more open and communicative in personal situations, although I definitely have a ways to go yet on that particular account.
So what do I expect to get out of Avatar? Again I am not really sure. To still myself some would be a good thing. I want to be careful and not expect too much though. If I get out of it half of what those on the tapes indicate they did, then it would be worth it, and I would be more than happy. No doubt I present a challenge to Avatar, and if it will help me it will help anyone. I will deliberately not be too definitive on wants from Avatar. What I am hoping most though, is that when my post Avatar statement is made, it will be “Come on in folks, the water’s fine.” We’ll see in about three weeks. I’ll get back to you.
New Avatar Reflects on Personal Gains
I had hoped to be able to say after doing Avatar “Come on in folks, the water is fine.” Well, now I am happy to report that I can indeed say that. I completed the course on September 17, 1996, at Fort Walton Beach, Florida, with Katherine and David Hall of Memphis, Tennessee with Master Terry Taylor delivering.
I was not sure what to expect from Avatar, but I tried to be open-minded. Still, my mind was more critical and judgmental than I thought, and I found myself at first thinking that the process was too simplistic to be effective. I changed that view however, on about the 3rd day when I was hyper and flustered from being late that morning, and after some exercises, I was completely calm, my mind was clear, and I was more that a little euphoric. My inclination, initially, on this was to analyze it and try to understand how it came about, but something at the same time was telling me that this was more a feeling than a mind or a head thing. The mind and critical judgment does get into it and plays a part, but it cannot dominate.
What I noticed taking place during the course was that I was having a mind dump. My mind didn’t feel clogged. It was light and clear. I was operating from a positive mode that I could maintain with little or no effort.
The point of view shift that takes place, which is that you are the creator of your experiences, is at more of an elemental or visceral level. It is with you in a more personal way than if you merely read it in a book, which all of us, of course, have done. During the course David, Katherine and I discussed this new way of seeing yourself and the world, and we agreed that it would be a permanent change in us. Why would we want to look at things in the old way, the we-as-victim way? Why would we want to? We would not want to, was the answer.
The euphoria thing was a mystery to me. Some of the exercises would create this in me and last the rest of the day. In fact some of it is still with me about two weeks later as I write this. I do not know why this would happen, but I am learning in Avatar not to try to analyze myself out of a good thing.
I noticed during the course that after the sessions for the day were over, and I would go home, that it seemed I would be oblivious to any stress or strife. It was as if there were no way I was going to encounter anything but harmony, and nothing but harmony did I find. Everyone and everything were very cheerful and benevolent. What is this? Can this be true, I thought. It confirmed to me as true the Avatar teaching that your perceptions of your world are filtered through your own belief system. But to see actual differences around you, in people, things, etc., this will make you wonder “Is this an actual change or am I perceiving it?” Again, maybe it is better to not analyze oneself out of a good thing. I will say this though. I am a high school football official, and I have since Avatar, worked in three football games, and these were the best games I have ever worked, from every aspect I can think of, in my eight years of officiating. Everyone, players, coaches, fans, and officials seemed to be having better temperaments and having a better time than usual. Asking if this is just a coincidence or some other explanation does not have the right ring somehow.
Another thing I am noticing, during the course, and after, is more energy. But on the other hand I don’t feel compelled to do as much, such as get this and that done, or to read that stack of books. The grass in my yard needs cutting, and I may get out there and do it today, or I may not.
I think the best thing I can report is just an overall consciousness of being more positive, all around, and more honest and open, all around. It is just easier now to stay out of negative modes. Negativity creates negativity. It is easier to let positive create positive.
I feel optimistic about the future. I can be whatever I want to be and as many things as I want to be. Why be limited? Right now, today, I am a writer and explorer. Tomorrow we will see.
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