Outside In

by Mari Galereave

A year ago we had a newly adopted baby, and I found myself spending most of my time indoors. This was unusual for me as I had moved to Alaska for that spacious outdoor feeling. I could feel instant expansion by stepping outside. I could exaggerate the feeling by driving to the top of a treeless dome to see miles of wilderness, seemingly infinite. I was quite attracted to this feeling. And so I was feeling uncomfortable spending so much time indoors.

On this particular morning the baby fell asleep on my shoulder, and I decided to hold her while she napped. I turned my attention out the window to the sun shining on the trees. I remembered a recent Avatar student and how, on the course, she made herself feel good by going outdoors and being outdoors. The outdoors was her source. I realized the outdoors was my source too. I wondered, if I refused to make source out there, where would it be? Well, it would be in here.

Suddenly, my world turned outside in. I lost my focus on the vastness out there. Instead, I became the source-being looking at the sunshine on the trees. I became the source-being deciding where to direct my attention next. The world got brighter. I got bigger inside. I remembered the exercise from ReSurfacing, “Acting as Aware Will.” I found it was easy to deliberately direct my body what to do next. I was aware of deliberately directing my thoughts. The world kept getting brighter. I kept getting bigger. I became more and more a being who chooses. I thought, I am source. This is what that means. I am feeling it for the first time! I am source. And THIS is really me. Wow! I am this! I am the seer, the doer, the thinker, the mover of this body.

All the vastness out there was me. I became a vast being looking out these eyes. My baby woke up, looked at me, and I saw a vast being looking out of her eyes.

Now I feel completely satisfied being indoors or out. I see a vast being, not only in my daughter but in other humans as well. Turning outside in was a good thing for me.

When I went to The Masters Course, I learned a state of being that is natural for my daughter. She was born knowing the Master and Avatar tools. I am grateful to Avatar for bringing these tools into my life, tools that bring me back to my true self, tools that have brought me into alignment with the Universe.

Mari Galereave, Fairbanks, Alaska

 

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