by Linda Decker
When I was in the seventh grade I had a friend named Jill. We used to get together at her house after school and hang out, playing. One of the games Jill made up had us laughing so hard, we’d fall down and cry! I guess it would have been pretty funny to watch us playing it, except no one was there to see us — Jill’s mom worked, and we were usually alone at her house. We probably would have looked a little like John Cleese in the Monty Python sketch, “The Ministry Of Silly Walks.”
Here’s how you play. Get a hand-held mirror and hold it mirror side up, horizontal to the ground at chin level. Do not look at the ground, but use the reflection in the mirror to guide you as you walk around. Doorways are interesting because you have to step over the part of the wall that extends from the top of the doorjamb to the ceiling. For goodness’ sake, don’t step on any light fixtures! And hopefully there are no delicate valuable objects sitting around on the floor obscured from your view by the mirror. If you’re brave enough to go down a flight of stairs, notice that the ceiling keeps getting farther away even though you’re walking on it.
Soon, you get very adept at navigating this way, and the world takes on the quality of an M.C. Escher drawing.
Have you ever spoken with someone who held a viewpoint so completely different from your own that you just stood there in awe? Did you feel a little bit detached, as though you were observing both yourself and the speaker from a different location?
When we become very strictly attached to a certain viewpoint, that bit of data is of very limited value in solving problems, learning new things, or understanding others. The opinion ties our hands and sticks our feet to the floor. Plus, it seems to take some of the humor and life out of the situation. In a way, it plays with us rather than us playing with it.
Go ahead — there’s no danger in seeing what it feels like. Take a little expedition into another viewpoint and go exploring a bit. You can always return to home base if you’d like, but you’ll come back with a broader perspective.
The advice to walk a mile in another’s shoes, or to try to see things their way is valuable not only to the person seeking a compromise. It is an expansive and liberating exercise at any time. The ability to get the big picture, to experience empathy for different viewpoints is an invaluable tool for mediators, statesmen, emissaries, diplomats, managers and other thoughtful persons looking for a kinder, more cooperative world to inhabit. And, there’s no extra charge for the wisdom and enjoyment you’ll experience as a result!
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