When was the last time you thought you were having a bad day? Probably it wasn’t all that long ago. Now, on that bad day was it because something big happened like a meteor chose your house for a landing spot or a 50-year-old oak tree thought your car would be a comfortable place to lie down?
Or was it a bad day because of a bunch of little things? Traffic was heavy on the way to work. The checkout line was moving slowly. You specifically asked for no pickles and no mustard, but you’re already five miles down the road. More than likely it was a bad day because of the little things.
Several years ago, I had an interview for a job that I really wanted. It was scheduled for 10am and I was very excited. I wanted everything to go well.
Mr. Rocker, the man with whom I was meeting, had given me instructions on how to get to the building and where to park. I pulled into the parking lot at 9:45 but all the spaces were taken. Now I’m thinking, “Rocker should have had a spot reserved for me. He could have done this easily, and it would have impressed me. He should feel privileged that I am considering working for his organization.”
I was annoyed. I drove around until about 10:15 before I finally got a space. By this time I was completely frazzled. I reached Rocker’s office five minutes later and he wasn’t pleased.
He immediately told me that he had another meeting at 10:30, but he would spend fifteen minutes with me.
The combination of his displeasure and the state I was in didn’t work well. I didn’t get the job.
I’m sure it would have been different had I found a parking space right away.
I live in New York City and used to have a terrible time finding parking space on the street. Then, as an experiment, I decided to change my belief from “parking is hard to find” to “wherever I go I find parking quickly and easily.”
Having taken Avatar, changing beliefs wasn’t all that difficult.
Now, it sometimes seems as if people are holding a space, waiting for me to arrive before they decide to drive off. At other times I feel directed to stop at a certain location and wait. Usually, as if by magic, someone shows up in a short time to move a car from very close by.
I know, finding a parking space is not a big thing, but little things matter too...
In my neighborhood there is a small grocery store where the cashier has a reputation for being rude to customers. I personally experienced some of this behavior that seemed totally in line with her reputation.
And then I thought about it. Two questions came to mind. What is rude behavior? When does it occur?
Regardless of the behavior, the person receiving it makes the call. Rude for you may not be rude for me. Rude for me on one day may be okay on another. At the same time, the person exhibiting the behavior may truly believe it to be fine. So what gives?
Upon reflection, it seems that wherever I go expecting rude behavior someone usually fulfills my expectations. Does this mean that every time I encounter rudeness my beliefs have a hand in it?
I decided to test this.
First I had to change my opinion about the woman. I realized that I began to notice her rudeness only after I heard someone else mention it. I had taken on his belief about the cashier. So I replaced it with a belief that she would be pleasant.
And sure enough, the next time I went to the store, she was pleasant.
I realized that the power to define my experience is available to me based on what I choose to believe. So why not always go in believing her behavior is fine? I do that now, and guess what? It’s always fine.
I know, the attitude of a single cashier is not a big thing, but little things matter too...
The Avatar Course taught me powerful, comprehensive and easy to use tools for managing beliefs. The best I’ve ever seen. But because they were so effective in dealing with major concerns, I often forgot to use them in simple, day-to-day circumstances.
Minor annoyances can build up and trigger statements like, “I am having a bad day” or “Things are kind of screwed up right now.” Deliberate use of the tools in “insignificant” situations can help develop the skill and confidence that will assure success when a “significant” situation comes along.
Using Avatar for the little things not only makes living easier and more fun, but also frees attention to deal with the big things.
I know, they are only as big as I choose to make them.
But big or little, anything is fair game for using the Avatar tools. The real question is whether you are interested in deliberately creating your life, even the little things, each day, and your way. It’s a personal choice.
Lauch Henry, Brooklyn Heights, NY
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