by Linda Decker
Have you ever noticed that there are a lot of people, workshops, articles and books advising us to be present in the now? Excellent idea; it stands to reason. But ironically, thinking about being present actually distances us from experience. So, the doing of it can be somewhat elusive. An aha! that we can personally feel works better for us.
Recently, my husband and I prepared a really delicious dinner and sat down to enjoy the meal. I put a forkful of crisp, fresh salad in my mouth. There was a lull in the conversation, and in that silence it dawned on me that my mind was busy considering what to put on my fork next. What suddenly hit me was that while I made that slight shift to consider whether to lift a forkful of saffron rice or a bite of fish next—I no longer experienced the flavor of salad already in my mouth!
How strange. It was subtle, quick. Was I remembering that the last bite of salad had been tasty? Had I been anticipating the next bite of salad, or was I present for this one? I decided to investigate. What a great little laboratory: simple bites of food.
First, I took a bite of rice and decided to consciously think about my next bite of salad while I was eating the rice. Again I checked myself: am I tasting rice, or anticipating salad? Interestingly, my taste buds had taken a micro-vacation. The flavor had vanished. In that fleeting moment, I was thinking, not tasting!
Next, I took a bite of fish. Where was “I” when the bite of fish went into my mouth? I was remembering choosing the freshest fillets in the market, the preparation of the fish, and with a convoluted little flip, I was remembering (past focus) the anticipation (future focus) of the meal—wow, what a loop! That bite of Cajun fried fish might as well have been an intriguing blend of cotton and library paste for all the gourmet pleasure I was experiencing at the moment.
Consciousness can do this very easily, and so subtly. I’d been to the market, the kitchen and back in about three seconds, and my body was still seated at the dining room table! I slyly considered the possibilities. Who needs space travel when you can be in so many places at one time without even arousing suspicion?
Well, maybe just a hint of suspicion. I felt my husband observing me, wondering why my body was so silent, intently examining its food. I gave him a little Mona Lisa smile and went back to my study.
What other areas of my life had I micro-ignored? Am I fully there when my friends speak to me, or am I considering my reply? When I take a shower, do I feel the water contacting my body, or am I planning my day? As I drive through the beautiful farmland that surrounds me here in rural Texas, am I present to appreciate the sight of the manicured crops growing green, green in the fields? The big blue sky with its brilliant white, drifting clouds and the slowly grazing longhorn cattle? Or am I hoping I’ll be on time for my appointment and thinking of swinging by the mall for a quick errand on the way back home.
In a matter of moments, I’d gone from realizing that the act of thinking deadens the taste buds to, “What, after all, is the essence of life?”
In the Avatar Course, Harry Palmer says, “Life doesn’t come with meaning. You can either study the symbols or go out and feel alive.” It seems that in any tiny time slice, one cannot simultaneously experience and observe from the mental sidelines. Interesting.
Try this for yourself. In the small moments of your life, decide to focus even more on being fully present in the nooks and crannies of NOW. Feel, taste, smell, see, hear and experience your life with all its rich nuances. Really show up and explore. Life’s beautiful geography is laid out before you: joys, sorrows, challenges, wins, fascinating details, comforting familiarity and delightful surprises. In the simple, one finds the magnificent. Be here now.
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