by Rick Traub
Let’s play a game. I’ll give a definition (according to Webster’s), and you guess the word.
Here it goes:
1. to fall short of success or achievement in something expected, attempted or desired
2. to lose strength or vigor
3. to stop functioning or operating
4. to dwindle or die away
What idea could be so powerful that, starting with an experience of falling short of an expectation, one could begin a downward spiral that could cause one to lose strength, stop functioning and perhaps die away? It’s the F word: Failure.
The dying away probably won’t be as dramatic as jumping from a window on Wall Street. However, it could manifest itself as an internal dying off and self-inflicted suffering brought on by the belief, “I have failed.”
The feeling of failure, associated with one small, seemingly insignificant event can gather steam and expand to affect other aspects or even the entirety of one’s life. It’s hard to enjoy life when viewed through failure-colored glasses.
Have you been there? I have. Over the past few years I have considered myself a failure in a number on areas, including husband, father, business owner and teacher.
I finally took a step back and noticed to what extent my “I am a failure” label was having on my life when I was showing a friend around my garden one day. We were walking along the paths surrounded by the lush growth and the sweet aroma of vegetables and flowers. My friend turned to me and said, “Wow! This is such a beautiful garden,” to which I replied, “Yeah, but the tomatoes failed.” I caught the absurdity of my own comment and realized how narrow my perspective had become to have all my attention focused on a few struggling tomato plants instead of viewing them in the larger context of a big, beautiful, abundant garden.
The experience that had been labeled “failure” from a narrow point of view becomes simply “an experience” or “lesson” when considered in a larger context. There is no failure. Everything that happens is part of the process and holds a valued place in the larger picture. I don’t need to put energy into “I will not fail.” My attention can flow to “I create.”
What a relief! My “failed” marriage becomes the gateway to personal growth and the opportunity to experience more compassion and love for myself and others. A “failed” business venture provides the opportunity to improve skills and explore new possibilities. And yes, a “failed” tomato plant leads to further study of tomatoes, while the plant itself goes to the compost pile to become nourishment for the garden.
One remarkable feature of the Avatar Materials is that they provide the opportunity to simply and safely explore an issue from many points of view. From this broadened perspective, life becomes a satisfying adventure! If you’re ready to look at life through some new, expanded lenses, perhaps Avatar is for you. And who knows, maybe you’ll experience a new, improved F word: Fulfillment!
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