Freedom From Wanting

by John Sauvage

“Don’t you want more money? A bigger house? A better job? A better relationship? More stuff? More happiness? Enlightenment?” asked an exceptionally direct friend as we finished our lunch. He shot these questions toward me in rapid-fire succession. I quickly answered each question with a resounding NO! It happened so fast, he did not even take a breath between my answer and his next question.

After the dust settled, we both sat in silence for a few moments, each somewhat shell-shocked by what had just occurred. Perhaps he was contemplating new possibilities. I was reflecting on the profound shift in my life that our exchange had just revealed.

I began to speak slowly as my mind tried to grasp the vastness of what I was feeling.

“Before I took the Avatar Course,” I explained, “I was always WANTING something: the perfect job, the perfect wife, enough money to feel secure, the perfect home in the perfect place, perfect balance in my life, more inner peace, and a world filled with love, peace and harmony. It seemed that every time I focused on what I WANTED, I would either feel a little depressed or I would put all of my energy into trying to get it until I was totally exhausted. Even if I got what I wanted, it no longer seemed worth all the effort.”

After describing how my life had been, I began to feel what had changed. It is true that I still experience desires, so how could I have answered NO to my friend’s questions so quickly and confidently? Suddenly, I knew.

I continued, “Wants and desires ran my life. They were something out there that I was trying to get in order to feel happy and satisfied. When I had a want, I believed I had to be unhappy with the current situation in order to motivate myself to change. I did not want to be stuck or unmotivated, so I created a lot of unhappiness. The problem was, having wants was becoming so painful that I began to give up my dreams. They no longer seemed worth wanting. Of course, I wasn’t happy about giving up my dreams either. I was stuck. I was unhappy when I tried to satisfy my wants, and I was unhappy when I gave them up.”

The more I talked, the more I felt removed from the reality of the situation I was describing. It was hard to believe that this was ever my experience.

I began trying to articulate what had changed, stumbling over the inadequacy of the words intended to describe the depth of what I was feeling. I began again, “Now, when a want arises, I feel it and decide if the object of the want is something I choose to create or discreate. The Avatar tools have given me the ability to decide how to handle wants. Once I have decided, then my attention is free to be in the present moment to create, appreciate, and fully experience life. I no longer get stuck wanting. (I can feel how profoundly this has affected my life, so subtle, so powerful, so freeing.) I now recognize, it is not the experience of having something that satisfies me. The moment I actually experience satisfaction is the moment I no longer have the want.”

“You’ve probably experienced feeling hungry and wanting food. When you ate, you may have felt satisfied. It was not the food that gave you the feeling of being satisfied. The satisfaction comes from no longer wanting food. The food is not intrinsically satisfying in itself. What if you kept eating beyond the point when you felt satisfied? You may create another desire for some relief from eating too much food and feeling too full. So, it is not the object of the want that creates the satisfaction. It is being without the want that feels satisfying. With Avatar, I decide how to handle my desire, either to create the object of my desire or to discreate the want itself.”

My friend felt the value of what I was saying, but still looked a little uneasy. Finally, he said, “I can see how being able to shift your perception and focus can be helpful, but does it really work?”

I sat for a moment feeling his question. Finally I said, “Oh! You want to know if it works out there in the real world.”

“Well, yeah,”he said shyly.

So I began to make a mental list of all the things I had created out there in the real world. Since I completed The Avatar Course two years ago, I’ve created: a new house, a new car, a successful new business, more travel, more money, a network of friends from all over the world, closer relationships with old friends, time to visit family, a healthy body, a deep sense of peace, an even better relationship with my wife, and a satisfying way of serving others. And creating continues to feel more and more effortless.

As I listed these worldly creations, I had a realization. “What I have created or will create is not nearly as important as the way I experience my life—knowing that I decide when to create and when to discreate the want.”

John Sauvage, Washington state

 

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