A ReSurfacing Success Story
by Jim Mixson
I guess I’m what most people would consider a dog nut. I’ve had dogs most of my life and love them as much as I loved my child. I’m blind and am home almost all the time, so my dogs were constant companions. The most recent pair of dogs were Topo and Duchess, long-haired dachshunds.
We had to put Topo to sleep about two years ago. I loved that little dog so much I just wanted to ask the vet for a shot for me too, so I could go wherever he was going. But I still had my wife and Duchess to consider. I cried every day for six weeks after his death and couldn’t say his name for at least six months.
Two days before attending an Avatar introductory workshop, I again had to send a dog on ahead of me, this time Duchess. Again I was deeply racked with sorrow and felt that all too familiar stab of pain in my heart, over and over again at her absence.
I’ve lost a daughter, a wife, a brother and a father, and for me the grief at the loss of Duchess was no different.
At the introductory meeting, Pat (Petriatis), a new Avatar Master, and I did one of the exercises. She said, “Pick something that is going on with you now you’d like to work on,” so I picked the loss of my dog. I figured, “Let’s put this to the test. Why not?”
I could barely talk about Duchess at first, but Pat was so understanding, having had to put her dog to sleep in her arms herself, and having her mother blind. By the time we finished, I could clearly reminisce about Duchess, felt okay about this process, and could tell something had shifted in my perspective. It all felt okay. I was relieved to get through it without too much difficulty. My wife sat next to me on the couch and watched me become more at ease in talking about Duchess. (Paula: Actually, I saw him go from anguish to peace.)
All that sorrow and grief never came back. It disappeared. I miss her, I send her love and talk to her, but it’s free of the self pity and wishing things were otherwise that were there before that evening. The mind’s pasting and futuring diminished considerably, and I’m at peace about Duchess and treasure the memories I have. My friends expect to see me suicidal and are broken up themselves, because they know how joined Duchess and I were.
I have to tell them it’s okay; I’m fine. I think I’m better than I’ve ever been actually. I don’t believe anymore in stages of grief after a loss. And I believe I’m free of all that forever.
This has been an undeniable transformation in consciousness, and I can’t wait to do the course. The literature about the course started with “Would you like to experience that state commonly known as enlightenment?”
I had to chuckle at that when my wife first read it to me. Now I’m believing, just maybe, this teaching process can really deliver what I’ve searched for all these years.
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