by Kristin Madden

Community has been defined as 1) any group living in the same area or having interests, work, etc., in common, 2) the general public, and 3) a sharing in common. I would like to propose two more definitions: 4) those individuals or groups we attract who function as personal mirrors for ourselves and 5) spiritual teachers in disguise. While all individuals we come in contact with are potential teachers, those in our communities can spur us to truly significant growth.

The communities that we choose to live and work in are filled with beings acting as mirrors for our personal beliefs, patterns, and dramas. They are always there, right in our faces, showing us who we really are whether we want to see it or not. Quite often those we have the greatest resistance to can be our greatest teachers.

Carlos Castenada’s Don Juan refers to this as the petty tyrant. He believes these individuals are so valuable that he actually advises his students to seek one out, should one not cross their path. He says that the loss of self-importance and personal agenda allow spirit to flow and ensure victory over the petty tyrant. This loss allows us to bypass the ego and conscious mind so we can once again access our connection to source.

Harry Palmer places this all within the realm of honesty, both with ourselves and others. Honesty takes courage. Harry Palmer says that it seems easier to attack and defend our actions than to honestly examine them and admit what is at the basis of them. He believes that unawareness arising from fear is the cause of most people’s dishonesty. This dishonesty does not manifest merely as lying, hiding, and taking home toilet paper from the office. It is also a refusal to see ourselves in the mirrors of our community. This is a resistance to the experience of who we are and our fear that we cannot handle the entirety of what that encompasses.

We have all lashed out at another person for doing something we secretly desired to do or had done ourselves but didn’t want to admit. This is usually the basis for gossip and rumor-mongering. In my community I have seen many people attack others for talking behind their backs or altering the truth, unaware that they are exhibiting similar behaviors. Fear is at the center of all these situations. We fear ridicule, rejection, and exposure. Harry Palmer calls this pretending. Pretenders attack those groups or individuals whose honesty and actions remind them of their own dishonesty.

When we interact with someone who seems to push all our buttons, there is a good possibility that they trigger something in us that we are resisting. The world truly is a reflection of each of us. Every external experience we create and attract is a mirror for what is going on with us. If we choose to believe that there are no coincidences and we create our experiences of life, then those individuals coming together to form a community have chosen to teach and learn those lessons present in this group at this time.

So, thank the petty tyrants in your life and accept their lessons. One does not need to be in total agreement with the teacher to accept and integrate the teaching. Experience what they have to offer you and move on, if you choose to. You may even find that your experience of your community changes as your appreciation and honesty increases. I found that those persons I felt were constantly attacking me suddenly became allies when I handled my own stuff. Look in these mirrors honestly enough to recognize yourself. Follow the feelings down to their core, then appreciate your creations for what they are. You have some truly magnificent ones there, you know. Some you may choose to keep, and some you may eliminate. The choice is yours.

Kristin Madden, Connecticut

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