Beyond Preaching

by Pamela Ziemann

Maybe you’ve had enough preaching in your life. Me too. Maybe you want to find your own answers. If so, there’s a course where you can do that. It goes beyond preaching, philosophical theories, and interesting dialogue. It’s an experiential course called Avatar.
I tuned into it when I heard Harry Palmer, the founder of Avatar say, “I never wanted to put people into any particular path or any particular belief system, or to say to them ‘This is the way it is.’ What I really wanted to do was to provide a tool that would allow them to explore the way they felt it was. And discover where they were going. I don’t believe that the lessons we need to learn are the same for each of us. And that following someone else’s path to learn the lessons on that path may be a real betrayal of our own selves.”

My heart was pounding. I was taking in just enough air to stay alive. And I was having a hard time swallowing. That was what I felt when I stepped onto the platform to deliver my first paid speech. The University’s vice-president had heard me give a presentation at the local library regarding change management and asked me to bring the same talk to their retreat the following month.

I had thoroughly done my research and knew the information inside and out. If you asked me at 3:00 in the morning, I could have repeated the entire speech beginning to end. But when it was show time, my knees were shaking, and all the worst possible outcomes were playing out in my mind. I talked myself into stepping up to the challenge by telling myself, “I have the information. They need the information.”

Well, I got through it. The crowd politely applauded. Yes, they received the information, I received a check, but that wasn’t the end of it. Two weeks later I received the evaluations: 160 people anonymously expressing what they thought of my speech. One of the evaluations stopped my heart, because I sensed there was an element of truth in it. It read, “She was a real turn-off. Preachy.”

Ouch! That was the last thing I wanted to do. I had had enough preaching in my own life and knew it didn’t feel very good. Yet, when I analyzed my speech I realized there were a lot of “should” words in it. I was doing the same thing.

Isn’t that sometimes the way it goes? We have good intentions. We have the information that has worked so well for us, and we know everyone will benefit from it. The problem is, the information is coming from our point of view, and if we don’t take time to understand the other guy’s point of view, it becomes preaching. What I did that day was dump information on people. There wasn’t any rapport building or analyzing their specific needs. It was not very inspiring or empowering. How empowering is it to have someone tell you what to do?

I’ve learned a lot since that time. I’ve learned that if I observe what’s going on within me and around me, I’ll see a cause-and-effect relationship. No right answers. No wrong answers. It’s more a sense of sharing information. Wow, did that take my stress level down! My breathing was easier. Before, I found myself leaning into the audience, almost as if I was doing battle with them. Now I feel like I’m coming from more of a neutral position. I realize there is a lot of stress that goes along with preaching. Coming from a place of sharing information is much more enjoyable. There’s a sense of connection rather than separation.
The famous poet Rumi wrote, “Out beyond ideas of right doing and wrongdoing there lays a field. I’ll wait for you there.” With the tools of Avatar, more and more people are finding this field. I’ve been on Avatar courses where the room was crowded with hundreds of people mixing from different cultures. How refreshing it is to be in an environment where no one is imposing his or her judgments about what’s right and what’s wrong. It feels like a place of peace and understanding. Creativity is unleashed. And the most beautiful thing is, without judgments, there’s plenty of space for everyone.

Pamela Ziemann, Seattle, WA

 

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